Why People-Pleasing Might Be Rooted in Trauma

Have you ever found yourself constantly saying yes, even when your body is screaming no? Do you go out of your way to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or ensure others are comfortable—even at your own expense? If so, you may be caught in the cycle of people-pleasing, a behavior that’s often misunderstood and deeply rooted in early attachment wounds and complex trauma.

As a trauma therapist, I frequently work with clients struggling with anxiety, depression, and chronic self-doubt. Many of them describe an internal pressure to “be good,” “keep everyone happy,” or “never be a burden.” While this might look like kindness or conscientiousness on the surface, it often masks a deeper fear: If I disappoint others, I’ll be rejected, abandoned, or unsafe.