Blog #7

Learning to Sit With Your Feelings - Yes, Even the Uncomfortable Ones

Let’s be honest. Most of us weren’t taught how to feel our feelings. We were taught how to analyze them, fix them, distract from them, or push them down so we could “get on with it.”

But what if part of healing, that part of actually understanding yourself, is learning how to sit with your emotions, instead of constantly trying to outrun them?

In my work as a therapist, one of the most transformative things we explore isn’t how to make uncomfortable feelings go away. It’s actually how to be with them, gently and without judgment. That’s where emotional awareness starts. And that’s where deeper healing begins.

So… What Does “Sitting with Your Feelings” Actually Mean?

It’s not about wallowing. And it’s not about figuring everything out in one sitting.
It’s about slowing down enough to notice what’s coming up inside you—and choosing not to push it away or make it wrong.

It means:

• Noticing when a feeling is rising

• Naming what it is: sadness, anger, shame, fear, joy

• Allowing it to be there without trying to fix it or rush it away

• Listening to what it might be trying to tell you

It’s kind of like sitting beside a friend who’s having a hard day. You’re not giving advice. You’re not trying to change how they feel. You’re just there, present, curious, and compassionate. That’s the same energy we want to offer to ourselves.

Why This Matters

Most of us are used to coping by doing—scrolling, working, planning, numbing. Slowing down to actually feel what’s going on inside? That’s vulnerable. But it’s also powerful.

When we sit with our feelings, we:

• Build emotional awareness – We start to notice patterns, triggers, and underlying needs

• Regulate emotions more effectively – Feelings pass more easily when they’re acknowledged instead of ignored

• Develop self-compassion – We begin to treat ourselves with more kindness, even when we’re struggling

• Grow – Sitting with discomfort often reveals insight, clarity, and the strength we didn’t know we had

How to Practice This in Everyday Life

You don’t need hours of free time or a meditation cushion to sit with your feelings. Here’s how you can start in small, doable ways:

1. Create a little space. Step away from the noise, even just for 5 minutes. Find a quiet spot, or put on headphones to help you tune in.

2. Check in with your body. What sensations are you noticing? Tight shoulders? A lump in your throat? A pit in your stomach?

3. Take a few deep breaths. Let your breath anchor you. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Just a gentle inhale, a slow exhale.

4. Name what’s coming up. “I’m feeling anxious.” “This feels like sadness.” “I don’t know what this is, but it’s heavy.” That’s enough.

5. Allow it. Instead of pushing it away, see if you can just sit with it. You don’t have to like it, but can you be with it?

6. Reflect if you feel ready. Ask yourself: What might this feeling be trying to tell me? Is there a need, a boundary, or a hurt underneath it?

And if it feels too much or too overwhelming? That’s okay. You don’t have to do this alone. Therapy can be a safe place to practice this kind of emotional curiosity at your own pace.

Final Thoughts: Feeling Isn’t Failing

Sitting with your feelings doesn’t mean getting stuck in them. It means honoring your emotional experience as part of being human. It’s a skill! One that gets easier (and less scary) with practice.

In a world that often tells us to keep it together, powering through without feeling, choosing to pause and check in with yourself is an act of self-trust. It says: My feelings matter. I matter.

So here’s your gentle nudge: what would it look like to pause today, and just notice how you’re feeling, without trying to change it?

If you’d like a space where you don’t have to navigate that alone, I’m here. Therapy can be where you learn to meet your emotions with more kindness and less fear—one breath, one moment at a time.