“Will Talking About My Trauma Make Me Worse?”
A Trauma Therapist’s Honest Answer
By Gelica Tatarenko
If you’ve ever hesitated to start therapy because you were afraid that talking about what happened might make things worse… you’re not alone.
As a trauma therapist, I hear this question all the time, especially from first responders, survivors of complex trauma, and people who’ve been carrying their stories alone for a long time.
So let’s talk about it - gently, and with care.
Why Talking About Trauma Can Feel So Scary
There is nothing wrong with you if the idea of opening up feels overwhelming.
Trauma affects the nervous system in powerful ways. It impacts areas of the brain like:
The amygdala, which sounds the alarm when it senses danger
The hippocampus, which stores memories but can become disorganized by trauma
The prefrontal cortex, which helps us think rationally and calm ourselves down
When we experience trauma — especially repeated or early-life trauma — the brain learns to associate vulnerability and emotional expression with danger. So, of course your system might resist opening up. That’s self-protection, not weakness.
🔎 Research shows that trauma can dysregulate the stress response and disrupt memory encoding, making it harder to talk about past events clearly or safely (Bremner, 2006; van der Kolk, 2014).
So… Will Talking About It Make Me Worse?
Here’s the honest answer: It might feel more intense at first, but that doesn't mean therapy is making you worse.
It means your nervous system is finally being asked to process something it’s spent a long time trying to avoid.
This doesn’t mean you’re regressing — it often means you’re starting to heal.
What makes the difference is how the work is done.
A Trauma-Informed Approach Makes All the Difference
Trauma-informed therapy isn’t about pushing you to relive your worst memories. In fact, we often don’t start with the trauma story at all.
Instead, we focus first on:
Establishing emotional and physical safety
Building tools for nervous system regulation
Creating a collaborative and trusting relationship
Expanding your window of tolerance — the space where you can stay present without becoming overwhelmed
You’re always in control of what you share and when. Some clients start by just naming how they feel in their bodies. Others talk about daily stress before exploring past events. Both are valid and effective entry points.
🔎 According to trauma experts, therapy must occur within a “window of tolerance” to prevent re-traumatization and support integration (Siegel, 1999; Ogden et al., 2006).
What the Research Tells Us
Evidence-based trauma therapies are designed to help the brain and body safely process what happened — without overwhelming the system.
Some of the most effective trauma-focused approaches include:
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
CPT (Cognitive Processing Therapy)
Somatic Experiencing
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Trauma-focused CBT
These therapies emphasize regulation, pacing, and choice — not emotional flooding or re-exposure.
🔎 Studies show that trauma-focused therapy significantly reduces PTSD, anxiety, and depression symptoms over time (Watts et al., 2013; Cusack et al., 2016).
🔎 A strong therapeutic alliance — the quality of the client-therapist relationship — is the most consistent predictor of positive therapy outcomes (Norcross & Lambert, 2019).
You Deserve to Heal Without Being Overwhelmed
If you're curious about trauma therapy but afraid that talking will make it worse, I want you to know:
You don’t have to rush.
You don’t have to tell your whole story at once.
You don’t have to do it alone.
Healing from trauma isn’t about revisiting pain just for the sake of it. It’s about creating space to finally integrate your experiences — with support, stability, and care.
💬 If you're ready to explore what this could look like in a safe, grounded, and collaborative way — let’s talk or learn more about trauma therapy here.
References
Bremner, J. D. (2006). Traumatic stress: Effects on the brain. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 8(4), 445–461.
Cusack, K., Jonas, D. E., Forneris, C. A., Wines, C., Sonis, J., Middleton, J. C., … & Gaynes, B. N. (2016). Psychological treatments for adults with posttraumatic stress disorder. Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality.
Ogden, P., Minton, K., & Pain, C. (2006). Trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy. Norton & Company.
Siegel, D. J. (1999). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are.
van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.
Watts, B. V., Schnurr, P. P., Mayo, L., Young-Xu, Y., Weeks, W. B., & Friedman, M. J. (2013). Meta-analysis of the efficacy of treatments for posttraumatic stress disorder. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 74(6), e541–e550.
Norcross, J. C., & Lambert, M. J. (2019). Psychotherapy relationships that work III. Psychotherapy, 56(4), 421–430.
