Explore how “tiis lang”, the Filipino value of endurance, shapes mental health among Filipino-Canadians. Learn how to heal beyond endurance while honouring your cultural strength within individual therapy or couples therapy in Ontario, Canada.

Recently, I had the privilege of joining Layla Dabir of @mumellomums for an Instagram Live conversation about the unique perinatal challenges faced by healthcare providers and first responders.

Have you ever noticed how the colder, darker months seem to weigh on your mood more than the rest of the year? Maybe you feel more tired, less motivated, or just “off” when fall and winter arrive. You’re definitely not alone. For many people, these changes in weather don’t just bring the “winter blues”. They can trigger something called seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

If you’re the panganay (eldest child) in a Filipino family, you know it’s not just about being born first. It’s a role, a responsibility, and—if we’re being real—sometimes a heavy crown you didn’t ask for.

As a Filipino-Canadian and a therapist here in Ontario, I see the panganay experience show up in my clients’ stories again and again. It’s deeply shaped by Filipino values like utang na loob (debt of gratitude), pakikisama (harmony), and paggalang (respect), and then further complicated by growing up in Canada—where the cultural rules are often the opposite.

Starting college or university is a major life milestone—one often filled with excitement, possibility, and pride. But alongside the new classes, friends, and independence, many students experience something they didn’t expect: overwhelm, anxiety, homesickness, or burnout.

I’ve had to learn, and keep relearning, that setting boundaries doesn’t make me masama ang ugali. It doesn’t mean I love less. It doesn’t mean I’ve become too “Western” or forgotten where I come from. It means I’m learning to care for myself in a way that still honors my roots, but no longer leaves me running on empty.

As a Filipino-Canadian and a therapist, this lesson isn’t just something I teach, but it’s something I’ve had to live. And to be honest, it’s not easy.

What does it really cost to hide parts of who you are at work? In Out, Proud, and Still on Shift, a small group of LGBTQ+ professionals and allies gathered to explore that question, and to exhale. Through honest conversations, shared stories, and grounding tools, we unpacked the invisible weight of overcompensating, staying silent, and playing it safe in systems not built for our full selves. This event was a reminder that healing happens in community, and that sometimes, even a room of ten can hold a whole world of courage.