Blog#43
Supporting the Helpers in Motherhood:
The Perinatal Journey of Healthcare Providers and First Responders
Recently, I had the privilege of joining Layla Dabir of @mumellomums for an Instagram Live conversation about the unique perinatal challenges faced by healthcare providers and first responders. Mumello is an online and in-person community dedicated to supporting parents and families through perinatal health and wellness. Their mission is to bring together practitioners, experts, and resources so parents feel less alone and more empowered in their journey. You can find out more on their website at: mumello.ca
If you missed the Live, you can catch the replay on both of our Instagram pages, and in this blog, I’ll share some of the key insights we explored together, along with how therapy can play an important role in supporting helpers as they become parents.
Becoming a parent is one of the most profound transitions in life. But for healthcare providers and first responders, people who are used to holding it all together for everyone else, the perinatal experience brings unique challenges that are rarely talked about.
As a trauma therapist in Ontario and a psychiatric emergency nurse, I see this intersection every day in my practice. I also lived it myself, becoming a first-time mom during COVID while working in the psychiatric emergency. In this blog, I’ll share insights from my professional and personal experience, as well as the ways therapy can support healthcare providers and first responders during pregnancy, maternity leave, and postpartum.
The Invisible Weight of the Helper Role
Nurses, doctors, paramedics, firefighters, and therapists are trained to handle crisis. They’re the steady presence when everything else is falling apart. But that training, compartmentalizing emotions, pushing through exhaustion, and minimizing personal needs, doesn’t switch off when you leave work.
During pregnancy and postpartum, that invisible weight shows up as:
Feeling like you should be able to cope without help.
Guilt for taking maternity leave or time away from work.
Hypervigilance over every decision, from car seats to feeding schedules.
A sense of disorientation when you’re no longer in uniform or “on duty.”
This pressure makes an already vulnerable season of life even heavier.
Motherhood as a Traumatic Transition
Even outside of healthcare, becoming a mom can feel traumatic. It is a major identity shift, marked by uncertainty, lack of control, and constant adjustment. Research shows that:
Up to 1 in 3 mothers describe childbirth as traumatic.
The “mental load” of motherhood (managing schedules, health appointments, milestones, and household tasks) is linked to increased rates of postpartum anxiety and depression.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, postpartum depression rates rose significantly, highlighting how isolation and systemic stress make recovery harder.
For healthcare providers and first responders, prior exposure to trauma and professional hypervigilance amplify these risks. Having “seen too much” in medical or emergency contexts can intensify fears around pregnancy, birth, and parenting.
The Challenges of Maternity Leave for Healthcare Providers
In my therapy work with first responders and healthcare professionals, I often hear:
“I feel invisible without my role.”
“I’m scared of falling behind at work.”
“I can’t admit how much I’m struggling, even to my partner.”
Maternity leave is often isolating. Instead of feeling restorative, it can feel like losing a sense of self, disconnection from colleagues, and a constant struggle to “get it right” as a parent.
Bridging the Gap: How Therapy Helps
As a Registered Psychotherapist in Ontario specializing in trauma therapy, couples counselling, and mental health, I help healthcare providers and first responders navigate these transitions with compassion and evidence-based care.
In individual therapy, we work on processing trauma, reducing anxiety, and learning how to rest without guilt. We explore how to regulate the nervous system and move from hypervigilance into grounded presence.
In couples therapy, I help partners navigate the shifting dynamics of parenthood, from communication breakdowns to intimacy struggles, so that both parents feel supported and connected.
The goal isn’t just to survive maternity leave. It’s to reclaim a sense of wholeness, to feel connected to yourself, to your partner, and to the life you’re building as a parent.
Why This Work Matters
I do this work because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to be the helper who doesn’t ask for help, the mom who feels guilty for struggling, and the professional who fears losing her identity outside of work.
My mission is simple: to make sure helpers know they don’t have to carry it all alone.
Healthcare providers and first responders deserve support, too.
Final Thoughts
If you’re a nurse, firefighter, medic, physician, or therapist navigating pregnancy, postpartum, or maternity leave, I want you to hear this: you are not weak for needing help. You are human, and you deserve the same care you give to everyone else.
If you’re ready to explore support, I offer individual and couples therapy across Ontario through secure virtual sessions. Together, we can make this transition one of healing, connection, and growth.
Finally, I want to thank Layla Dabir, founder of Mumello, for creating opportunities to discuss important topics like this one. By bringing practitioners and parents together, she is helping to change the culture of perinatal support, ensuring that those who care for others also receive the care and community they need. The impact of her work is felt deeply by those who often go unseen and unheard!
