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Why People-Pleasing Might Be Rooted in Trauma
Have you ever found yourself constantly saying yes, even when your body is screaming no? Do you go out of your way to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or ensure others are comfortable—even at your own expense? If so, you may be caught in the cycle of people-pleasing, a behavior that’s often misunderstood and deeply rooted in early attachment wounds and complex trauma.
As a trauma therapist, I frequently work with clients struggling with anxiety, depression, and chronic self-doubt. Many of them describe an internal pressure to “be good,” “keep everyone happy,” or “never be a burden.” While this might look like kindness or conscientiousness on the surface, it often masks a deeper fear: If I disappoint others, I’ll be rejected, abandoned, or unsafe.
Blog #34
In a world that values productivity and constant achievement, it's not uncommon for individuals to push themselves relentlessly toward their goals, often at the cost of their well-being. For some, this drive to overwork and overachieve isn't simply a matter of ambition—it’s a trauma response deeply rooted in their past. In this blog post, we’ll explore how overworking and overachieving can be linked to trauma, the psychological theories that explain these tendencies, and how trauma therapy can help individuals in Ontario, Canada, break free from this exhausting cycle.